When I was a child I would say, “Who says?” to any suggestion from my siblings that I couldn’t do something I wanted to do. It mattered if they were saying it, or if my parents had said it. Often enough, it was just my siblings, and not a rule from my parents.
Civil society runs best when citizens respect and honor the laws made to protect them and to manage large groups of people. In addition, there are moral laws which help us to grow in character and integrity. Unless you’re living under a tyrannical situation, lawful = good. However, people sometimes become conditioned to accept other people’s rules, opinions, and perceptions as law themselves and stiffle their own growth and opportunity.
Here’s a list of things people say and hear every day that are other people’s rules, but not laws, and therefore can and often should be ignored:
You can’t do that: What people say when they reflexively react to what you dream to do, but haven’t any authority to stop you.
That’s not possible: What people say when they don’t want you to attempt something.
It will not work: What people say when they want to scare you from trying.
That is dumb: What people say to make you feel inferior so you’ll give up.
I’m not worthy: What we say to ourselves when we are afraid to grow.
I can’t do it: What we say to ourselves when we are afraid to try.
I can’t stop: What we say to ourselves when we are in a rut or addiction and believe our chemistry rules our lives.
You’ll never do it: What people say to us when they think we are stuck in a rut.
There are nearly endless such rules, opinions, memes and ideas that people create and use against others and themselves. It’s dangerous to accept other people’s rules without asking under what authority and expertise they are trying to keep us from doing what we dream to do. We also must challenge our own rules, often just rules we’ve adopted from others without first checking to see if they are legitimate, if we are to grow beyond our borders and live our dreams.
Dream Big.
David Curry
