It happens to everyone, you wake one day to realize your schedule, obligations, and to do list is full of things you have no business doing, you’re not excited about, and aren’t in alignment with your values. How does this happen?
It sometimes happens because we lack the social discpline to tell others “No”. It truly is a social discipline. When approached by others and put on the spot, we often are afraid, timid, or to embarrassed to say no. What would they think? Will they perceive me as rejecting them?
Here’s a few easy tips for getting control of your life and schedule:
1. Know your priorities. Some years ago some friends and I went to see author Steven Covey speak on the Seven Habits, which was a best seller at the time. After his speech we had a chance to talk with him and we invited him to dinner. I’ll never forget his graceful response. He simply said, “I’d love to do that, but each night I have an appointment to call my wife and children at 9am and I wouldn’t want to miss that. I hope you’ll forgive me. Thank you so much for the invitation.” Without exception, everyone in the group that night went away more impressed with Steven Covey. He knew his priorities, and with that as his guide, he more easily made decisions and could control his own schedule.
2. Connect with people. Sometimes saying “no” is easier when you don’t turn people down cold, but offer a follow up opportunity to get together, but on more agreeable terms. Most of the time, a request to join a board, or take part in some event or committee isn’t life or death, so people can accept a decline. But for those that don’t like letting people down, following up a decline with an offer to have lunch or coffee, to connect on a personal level without a big time commitment, is a great alternative.
3. Be proactive. By being “proactive” doesn’t mean running away when you see people walking across the lobby at Rotary to ask you to join a committee, it means deciding in your own mind how your life, time, and energy will be spent. Most people live without any internal structure to their life. They have obligations set externally: Getting to school, work, and church. But other than the start times of those events, they live without a plan. Get proactive about making sure your schedule is built around the values, people and causes that are important to you.
What are some of the ways you’ve found useful to taking control of your life and schedule? Let me know I’d love your feedback.
David Curry
