No doubt about it, I’ve been an enabler at different times in my life. The fact is that most of us have enabled others, we just didn’t know that we were doing it.
Despite the fact that we have love and have concern for those we care about who are struggling with drugs and addiction, we often hinder their chances of getting better. How do we do this? By enabling them in their bad behavior.
Enabling is any behavior that removes or softens the consequences of addiction, thereby making it easier for the addict to continue to use their drugs.
If you are covering up, paying bills, making excuses or more for someone you love that is using and abusing, then you are likely enabling them to be an addict.
The first step is to realize that you’re part of the problem and that you are going to need to take a good long look at your relationship dynamics.
While you’ve been internally fretting and anxious, is it possible that your behavior has made it possible for them to continue to use? Addicts define being supportive as “giving me the money, food, rent” that I need to continue living as I am” But we must define support as Unconditional love, and cut of the financial support that aids and abets the addiction, even if that means financial distress for the addict. The most important thing is that they come to recovery as quickly as possible before they do any further further physical damage to themselves or others.
In what ways are you have you been tempted to enable others, or asked others to enable you?
David Curry
