Few of us think twice about revisiting past mistakes and revisiting painful experiences. Certainly there are times when a healthy heart must look and examine all that has been said and done in order to know how to process pain and move forward.
Unfortunately, most of us go well beyond that and begin to live in regret. It’s one thing to feel a sense of loss, or even remorse from some event in the past. But living in regret is when you put down roots and decide to stay. It’s a conscious decision to never leave the place of your hurt.
Living in regret keeps individuals and groups stuck in negativity. It keeps you from living up to your potential.
Here’s a few ideas to help jar you out of living in regret:
1. Forgive. Sometimes it may just be forgiving yourself, other times you need to forgive someone who has hurt you. I think it’s helpful to forgive someone even if they’re no longer with you, but have passed away. This doesn’t mean you accept or condone what has been done, but just that you are going to release them from their part in the pain. Really, you are releasing yourself. Bitterness is a poison that eats people from the inside out. Many times the person you are holding a grudge about may not even be aware of it – it’s only hurting you. In my own life, I’ve had to forgive people for doing terrible things to me, and I’m glad that I have forgiven them. It’s allowed me to move on.
2. Count your blessings. Sometimes we get stuck in regret because it’s easier. Thinking of all the ways you are blessed – all that is right in your life, is harder. It’s harder because it is truly living in the present, and taking responsibility for your present circumstances. Everyone who is reading this has something to be thankful for, even if it’s just the ability to read! But we all have more blessings than we know.
3. Give. Living in regret makes a person constrict. You hold too tightly to the past, to possessions and people because you don’t want to go through pain ever again. Don’t live like that, that’s not life. Instead, practice regularly giving and doing for others. The happiest people are those that are giving and serving.
What other ways can we get out of regret and into a more positive frame of mind?
David Curry
