Today my family is honoring the life of my grandmother, Frances Glassy, who died last week at 98 1/2 years of age after a great, long life. Going through the process of grieving, (even though we are so grateful for her peaceful passing and her reuniting in heaven), has reminded me of the importance of journaling and writing as a part of the healing process.
For many years I’ve respected people who were able, in times of national crisis and personal difficultly to write a great eulogy, or give a comforting speech. There have been some great eulogies, here is a link to a few. With that in mind I wrote a eulogy for my grandmother which I am reading today at the funeral. But it’s not the giving of the speech that brings the healing, it’s the journaling of the feelings that begins the process. It was a cathartic experience.
What difficulty are you going through? Often it’s hard to identity, let alone deal with your emotions. I encourage you to journal, write them out and try to make sense of it all that way. I’ve found it very helpful.
David Curry
Bonus:
For those that are interested. Here is the eulogy I wrote for my grandmother. i took several hours, and it’s quite personal, but it gives you an idea of how someone might journal their emotions and thoughts to help them cope with difficulty.
Eulogy for Frances May Glassy
Today we gather to honor and remember the long life of a truly great woman.
Greatest shouldn’t be understood as fame. She certainly wasn’t known to many people outside of her group of family and friends. Nor should greatness only be understood as power, a classical understanding, Frances couldn’t be described as politically influential, by any means. Nor did she have outstanding financial resources that would somehow put her in the category of greatness.
Frances was great because she developed a significant list of personal qualities that make someone fit to be called great. Qualities that everyone of us here would love to have. She was loving, loyal, kind, fun, disciplined, giving, caring, thoughtful, responsible, a selfless person. Frances was a great listener – was more interested in trying to care for others, than to be care for herself. She experienced difficulty, pain and disappointment in her life, but she didn’t dwell on it or live in that territory for too long. She had a great set of priorities. Putting people first, taking care of your own and your responsibilities, and then having a good time. Frances May Glassy was a great woman.
Born to Franz and Velma Hanson in Lisbon, North Dakota on May 4th, 1913. Frances and her soon-to-be-seven siblings, lived and grew up on a farm in Gwinner, North Dakota. On a cold day in the Northwest, maybe an inch or two of snow, she could be coaxed into telling stories of some truly freezing winters on the farm. She would also on occasion tell stories of cooking and baking with her mother on the farm. And looking after her brothers as they got into mischief. She loved her brothers and sisters very much and always looked forward to passing the time with them.
She was a North Dakota girl, from Swedish parents, and it showed all her life. Yet the majority of her life was lived here in Tacoma, where she moved with her parents in 1937. She had a series of jobs as a housekeeper and nanny for some wealthy families in North Tacoma. She did this sort of work until she met Frank Glassy at a dance. She feel in love and married Frank and they started a family.
Her daughters, Barbara and Sharon, were her pride and joy. They formed a strong unit through tough times, with husband Frank passing away when the girls were still young and in school. Sharon and Barbara remained her greatest accomplishment and biggest source of pride. She would always comment to me about my mother, Barbara. How hard she worked, what a great mom she was to us kids and how she always kept us clean. Cleanliness was a big measure of success to Frances in regards to motherhood.
She was equally proud of Sharon, for all that she accomplished and the way in which she was able to work her way up to such responsible positions at the City of Tacoma and Port of Tacoma. Frances would often comment about what a blessing Sharon was and how grateful she was for the manner in which Sharon cared for her, and everyone else.
Comments were all you would get from Frances, because among her many qualities talkative wasn’t one of them. But, her comments were alway right on. And you come to treasure them.
Frances worked hard all her life. She had many families whose home she faithfully cleaned. She faithfully stayed in contact with many of those families after she retired. Think of all she accomplished – it is pretty significant. She raised a family, largely by herself. Paid for her house and property, and managed her apartments on 38th street. She worked every weekday, waking up early and taking the bus to and from work. My brothers and sister will remember waiting for Grandma to get off the bus so we could go into her house to be with her.
I often wonder if some of her good health in later life wasn’t due to the fact that she walked everywhere. She would walk to the store for groceries, walk to the bus stop. She walked.
She had a tremendous influence on her grandchildren. Rare was the weekend when there was not a grandchild asleep on her living room floor, in front of the tv. Many of us count some of the best nights of our life as those cuddled in a sleeping bag in her home. She cared about our jobs, families, and the every day going’s on. Dean and I would make a point to call her from wherever we happened to be and fill her in on the details of our trips. Becky was her companion and friend and they spoke nearly every day. Stuart and his family were important to her and she loved to see him out at the camp. She loved Steven, and his family. At church, she faithfully slept through all of Dean’s sermons.
Her great grandchildren all loved and cared for her, and she for them. Although her later years were obviously less active (she once commented to me that she missed being able to babysit), still her great grandchildren grew to know and appreciate her.
Food was her language to show her love and she spoke that language fluently. And she was so gifted at baking and cooking that every member of our family has a favorite dish, cookie, or baked good. Some of us have dozens of favorites. Every food was comfort food when she made it. She took time to serve what you liked, presented in a way that somehow made it taste better.
Francis May Glassy passed away on November 5th, 2011, alone for a few moments – napping while watching a cooking show. There is a theory in psychology, among those who study grief and dying, that some elderly people pass away when they are by themselves, alone, because in their spirit they don’t want to burden their loved ones with watching them pass. That certainly sounds like Frances. She was alone for a bit, Sharon was outside doing yard work, Becky had just visited earlier in the day, Barbara had called and talked that morning. She was loved. She sat down and nodded off and didn’t wake up.
Those closest to her – those in this room – didn’t want her to go. We’ve shed tears over her passing.
But let’s review this for just a moment: She lived in her own home until she passed. She was overwhelmingly loved. Frances was relatively healthy until the day she died and didn’t spend a day in nursing home or hospital. She did use a walker…for just two days. On the day she passed away there wasn’t one person who she was at odds with. Her faith and understanding of Jesus grew in the last years of her life and she went home to be with her savior after a long, life. 98 1/2 years.
So we will miss her. But what about that would you change? Nothing. There’s nothing you would change, except…how about 99 years? How about 100? How about one more day?
During her life she saw a lot of change. There were no cell phones, or personal computers in 1913. Her home didn’t even have indoor plumbing. Yet the last book she read was on a kindle. And she occasionally watched the church service streaming over the internet.
So many things changed during her lifetime. Yet the things she left behind were timeless. She was a loving, caring, giving person. And we loved her very much. She truly was a GREAT person, by every meaningful measure, and she will be missed. Amen
