I spent a couple of days last week in Laguna Beach, California for a couple of meetings. (Not a bad place to have a meeting) While I was in Laguna I continued a habit that I had formed many years ago while traveling regularly in my previous job, that of finding a local cafe to make my home base while I was out of town. For me, that special place in Laguna turned out to be Cafe Zinc. Although I tried a couple of other places, it was by far the best. When I was working in Lima, Peru my regular place was a Ricoto, a little cafe in Mira Flores.
I’m not sure who coined the phrase “Third Place” to describe that place other than home and work that you go to relax, meet friends, read, and live your life, but I love the concept and have been found having a “Third Place” to be critically important to having a balanced life. My first exposure to the phrase was in the book Pour Your Heart Into It by Howard Schultz, the CEO of Starbucks.
Finding a place that you can call “Your Place” to meet friends, read a book, do your bible study, and just relax away from the pressures of home and work is increasingly important in this hectic age. Work has the pressures of tasks, projects unfinished, and interuptions and home is often more stressful than we’d like to admit. Even if you are doing your best to tune out all the things you should do around the house it’s sometimes hard to relax. That’s when I try to get out of the house and go to a local cafe to clear my head and try to get some reading, thinking or refreshing done. Often times, I’m not alone, but with Kate. We usually have our best talks at a Cafe, away from the responsibilities of the house.
Here’s a few things I look for in a Third Place:
Some place that’s comfortable. If you’re going to do any serious talking or reading, you need to be comfortable.
The Right Lighting. If you want to read, probably not good to go to a place that’s too dark. On the other hand, sometimes it’s nice to have it a little dim if you’re meeting a friend for coffee in the evening.
People. I like to go places where I can sit quietly, but I like to be around people. This is a personal choice, but I think you need to know what your “people factors” are. Lots of people or not too many?
Some place close to where you live. I think it’s important for your Third Place to be close to where you live so that it you can walk there, or at least get there with minimal work. Proximity is part of the fun of having a “special place” to go. When I’m traveling, I find my third place by looking to see where the locals are hanging out and relaxing. When I was in Laguna, it was easy to see that Cafe Zinc was a great place to be. Locals were relaxing drinking coffee, reading the newspaper, and talking with friends. If no one is there, how good can it be?
People friendly. Some cafe’s don’t want you to hang out, they just want you to make a purchase and go. I look for places that encourage you to relax and provide a place that is easy to interact with others.
Added Comments for people in recovery: Many of you now realize that you have spent too many hours in bars and hanging out in drug houses looking for a release from your pain in addictive substances. Some of that was based in a longing for peace and relationship. It’s important to build routines and places that you can go to that will help you process the challenges, victories and disappointments of you day in a healthy way. Think about finding a Third Place that doesn’t serve alcohol, but facilitates peaceful times of reflection and conversation.
Here are a few great places I like in Pierce County
Gig Harbor, Cutters Point Uptown. My friends own this place, but that’s not the only reason I like it. It’s just a great little place. Comfortable and good coffee.
Tacoma: (I’ll leave my fav off the list so that I don’t engender stalkers) Metro Cafe on UWT campus, Cutter’s Point Downtown, Mandolin Cafe, Origin 23 on 6th ave, cafe on UPS campus, and Corina Bakery and Cafe.
What’s your favorite place to hang out?
