We’re all in love with the power of love. It’s an amazing force for good and is without a doubt an incredible motivator and influencer. But for those who have a loved one caught in addiction to drugs and alcohol (or anything else) must understand this concept:
LOVE DOESN’T CHANGE
ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOR.
I can almost hear people screaming at their computer. How can you say that!?!?!?! Love can do anything…love is all powerful…love will conquer all.
The truth is that many enablers are hoping that love, the fact that they are absolutely, 100%, supporting the addict in love, will provide the change necessary to be clean and sober. But it doesn’t work.
Only REPENTENCE, feeling and acting on the sorrow for the pain and suffering you have caused to yourself and others, can bring the change necessary.
That is why loving, nurturing people are often frustrated by the behavior of the addict. In their heart they believe that if they love enough, or if the addict only understood that they were loved, that the addict would change. However, by insulating the addict from consequences and the pain of their addictive behavior, they are keeping the addict from the things that could bring about sorrow and repentance.
If you disagree, let me know where I’m wrong on this. I’d welcome your feedback.
David Curry
FIRST AID FOR ENABLERS, AVAILABLE ON AMAZON IN PRINT AND KINDLE
